I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
