I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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