ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
