I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize