laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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