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• (443): View more from Maryland

  There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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• (310): View more from California

  and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.

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• (448): View more from

  My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays

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