mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
