So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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