Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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