i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
