i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
