If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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