Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
