I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
