I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize