if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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