This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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