Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
