"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need a beard to bite.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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