I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
