He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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