honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
