how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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