well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
