Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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