I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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