I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
