Soap is not a condiment
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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