wat bout pragnant strippers??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
