dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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