FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
