To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
