You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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