so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So much Jack, so little girl.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize