I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
