I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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