I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
