brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
