i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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