dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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