all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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