life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i think my cat just said my name.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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