so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The beer is more important than you right now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
