Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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