Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
