Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
