When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
