That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
