K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
