Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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