I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
