Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
