He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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