Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
