PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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