How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
