this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
